I miss

I looking through some old documents and I found some of my old photos. It made me miss photography

Oh wook!!

This is McKay's new phrase of the week. It's pretty cute. As he points to everything, "Oh wook!" He has been saying this to the fish a lot too. "Oh wook, fishy" (Speaking of our fish, we threw most of them back into to pond, because they just kept dying. I know they are just going to drain the pond next month and they are going to die anyways. But at least they have one more month to live. As for the tadpoles they are doing very well, getting big and leggy. )

McKay has really started to talk, and it is so fun. He yells Mommy all the time. Our conversations go something like this. "Mommy, Mommy!" Yelling "What McKay?" "Oh wook"

What a goofy boy we have!

Fishy, Fishy, Fishy

Christina and I went to bed around 11 p.m. last night. It is somewhat unusual for both of us to be in bed that early, so the night already started off strange. Then, at 12:19 a.m. (I remember specifically) the doorbell rang. I don't know if I've ever even heard the doorbell before that. Bella, of course, went crazy with the most ferocious bark I've ever heard her make. Nobody visits us during the day time, now in the middle of the night?

I managed to find some pants and stumbled to the door, still wondering if I had dreamed the whole thing -- and wishing for the first time that I owned a handgun. I was still hoping there wasn't really anybody there when a flashlight beam went across the window next to the door. Now, I was officially terrified (as if I wasn't before). I peaked through the blinds, and, believe it or not, felt yet another wave of adrenalin pump into my blood stream, further increasing my terror. It was a police officer.

I did a mental checklist to make sure the I KNEW McKay was in bed -- and then wondered if someone could have gotten in without me knowing. In retrospect, it was a strange thought, since even if something had happened to McKay, I have no idea how they would connect him to us. (As a side note, I am now considering having our names and phone numbers tattooed on his butt...)

I cracked the door just a tiny bit, and the officer asked if I owned the pickup in front of our house. Finally, the rush began to subside. Imagine being relieved at this thought: "Whew, its only that somebody ran into my truck." But it wasn't that, either. He just wanted me to move my truck, because, well, because the whole road had flooded, and the water was creeping its way up our driveway.

Turns out a water main had busted, not 15 feet from our driveway. I rolled up my pants and waded through water deeper than my ankles to move my truck into the high part of our driveway. (Thank heavens I drive a pickup and not a small Honda or something...)

It took awhile to fall back asleep, as I stressed about them demolishing the entire road in front of our house, and me not being able to get out to go to school in the morning to take my exam, and debating calling one of my friends in the middle of the night. Finally, though, sleep came, and carried me through the night -- until about 5 a.m., when the backhoe showed up. I monitored the situation for awhile, making sure they weren't going to block me in, and then caught another hour of sleep from about 6 to 7 a.m.

The damage seemed to be minimal, except for not having water for most the day and mud deposits on the road. We do live next door to a little pond, though, so that complicated the flood somewhat -- like all the little Coy fish that got washed out into various mud puddles around our house. Thank heavens, though, that our one-woman rescue team (Christina) jumped into action, grabbing live fish with her BARE HANDS and carrying them back to the pond.

She also netted hundreds (without exaggeration) of minnows and a handful of tadpoles, complete with little legs just starting to form, for her own collection. (Since a very stern man with a quiet voice came and told her not to put the minnows or tadpoles back in the pond.) Because they are draining the pond in a few weeks to get all the mud out. Now, what are we going to do with them? I am wondering the same thing...

So I guess it's our anniversary ?

So Michael came home with a plant and a card that said "Happy anniversary!" Missed the memo. We have this debate every year. When did we start dating? Well it was sometime between the middle of Oct and the end of Nov. Because right before I left home for Thanksgiving break, he told me he loved me. I thought he was crazy. I barely knew this kid.

So I guess we picked a middle ground 6 years ago. Nov. 8

It wasn't until January we had our first kiss.

In March he told me, "I will marry you." I laughed, "What ever." It took me a few years to realize I wanted to marry him and he was right. I guess it's good i'm so forgetful, so he can surprise me each year!

Instead...

I should up because I'm taking care of a newborn, instead I'm up in the middle of the night because I can't sleep but whats new.

I should be so dead tired because I have two kids.

I should be wondering how I'm going to make it with two babies under the age of two, instead I'm wondering how I'm going to make it without him.

We should be buying two sizes of diapers.

We should be late to things because we have two kids.

I should be happy and not care that my friends and family are pregnant, but instead it hurts and I get easily hurt by how insensitive people can be to me.

I should be happy and grateful that I have two healthy boys, instead I get to wonder what I did to deserve this.

Instead I get to worry about if I'll ever want to get pregnant again. Because it will be the longest 9 months of my life, hoping and praying that I'll even get 9 months with my baby.