It has
now been 22 days since I hugged my children, kissed my wife and boarded an
airplane to Indiana. This is the fourth Sunday I have not had to carry a child
out of Sacrament Meeting or whisper threatenings about not going to “nursery
class.” And, it is incredibly hard to describe how badly I miss it. Yes. That
is right. I miss carrying my children out of Sacrament Meeting. Of course, I
just miss carrying my children in general.
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| President Thomas S. Monson |
Today in our priesthood meeting, we discussed President Monson’s talk from the priesthood session of April’s conference. The talk generally is about being worthy and prepared to serve as opportunities arise. In the talk, President Monson shares a brief story about two soldiers from World War 2. One soldier uses the priesthood to command the second to “remain alive until I can get medical help.” Both soldiers survive to get medical attention. President Monson then states: “Miracles are everywhere to be found…”
That
phrase served to prick me in the heart. It replayed over and over again in my
head. You see, this has been a summer of miracles for me. Truly. I immediately
had the desire to write down some of the great blessings that had been afforded
to my family and me. I just don't want to forget.
First:
Recently, an orange “AT” light appeared on the console of our Mazda5. I tried
to ignore it for a while. Then I checked the transmission fluid level and
topped it off, hoping that would be significant. No change. The
longer it went, the more “symptomatic” the van became, shifting hard or at
inappropriate times, and just generally not performing well. I finally gave in,
found the time and took it to the dealership. I was told the transmission had
failed, completely. The van was not even safe enough for me to drive home.
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| A Mazda5 very similar to ours. |
When all was said and done, it took 8 days to complete the repairs, with the total bill coming to more than $3,100. Where is the miracle? When we bought the van almost three years ago, I struggled within myself before deciding to buy a $1,200 after-market extended warranty. Our total out-of-pocket expense at the time of repair? $256. And that INCLUDED the cost of a rental car we used while the repairs were completed.
I think this story will really stick with me for a while, but for an entirely different reason. At the time, I was rotating at the VA hospital in Phoenix. My attending physician was a self-described atheist who explained his views in this way: “Go as far left as you can, then go a little further, then turn to your left, and you may see me off in the distance.” I related the story about our van to him one day. He, knowing my religious background, responded, “Don’t you dare say it. Don’t you dare say God let the Nazis kill Jews and allowed slavery, but he reached down and fixed your van."
I think this story will really stick with me for a while, but for an entirely different reason. At the time, I was rotating at the VA hospital in Phoenix. My attending physician was a self-described atheist who explained his views in this way: “Go as far left as you can, then go a little further, then turn to your left, and you may see me off in the distance.” I related the story about our van to him one day. He, knowing my religious background, responded, “Don’t you dare say it. Don’t you dare say God let the Nazis kill Jews and allowed slavery, but he reached down and fixed your van."
I didn't say it. But I thought it. I can’t explain why there are so many tragedies in our world. I don’t know why people suffer. I still don’t know why our second son left this life before we got to look into his eyes. But I still know that God knows us personally, and he has never stopped caring. Even about the little things.
Second: I took my Level 2 Comlex
this summer. That is second of three tests I have to pass before becoming a
fully licensed doctor. I have to pass this test in order to graduate from
medical school, and my score is an important part of my residency application,
which will determine where I continue my training after I graduate. I put forth
a diligent study effort, but I was not feeling very confident the night before
the exam. We were staying with Christina’s family and I was trying to ward off
a full-fledged panic attack when Christina’s mom, Larna, sat down next to me. “This
is an important test for you, isn’t it?” she said, somewhat more timidly than I
expect from her. I assured her it was. She then bore something of a simple
testimony, and told me that there were tools available to help me and that Rob,
Christina’s dad, was willing to give me a priesthood blessing. I accepted.
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| Rob and Larna Meier |
Rob, who is the bishop of his ward,
laid his hands on my head, and I still remember very clearly some of things he
said. He said the Lord was aware of the efforts I had made, and that I had
fulfilled my obligations both related to school and outside of school. Then he
said something that I don’t expect to ever forget. “You have done your part,
but you need to quit trying to rely on yourself and allow the Lord to help you.”
In some ways, this was a mild rebuke, but mostly, it was a very important
lesson that I do not think could have come from information Rob had, but that
the Lord clearly did. I slept well that night.
The test turned into a month-long
ordeal, as my 8-hour test crashed just over 4 hours in, and I was forced to reschedule
the second half in mid-July. I have absolutely no idea why the test crashed
immediately following the lesson I had learned. It was a surprisingly emotional
experience. But whether the crash was part of the plan or just coincidence
matters little to me. What I do know is that during both of the test sessions, the
words from that blessing resonated within me, and I tried to relinquish control
and allow the Lord to help me. I received my score last week. It was an
eye-popping number that significantly trumped my Level 1 and is undoubtedly higher
than I could have accomplished on my own.
Third: I flew into Indiana without
any transportation. I did not know how I would get from home to hospital to
hospital and back. My initial plan was to get a bike, and mix that with bus transport as
needed. However, it was clear the first day that the roads I needed to travel to
the hospitals were far too busy for me to feel comfortable on a bike. There
were no sidewalks or bike lanes, and through large portions of road, there was
not even a shoulder. I would have to walk over a busy freeway on/off ramp with
no sidewalks to even get to a bus stop, which made the bus stop feel like it
was a million miles away. I rented a car when I first arrived, to help me get
settled in, but it was clear I could not afford to keep the car a week, let
alone a month. I felt somewhat trapped, and spent some time on my knees,
praying for a solution.
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| The 2003 Dodge Dakota that Dr. Pepple graciously let me borrow. |
During my first day, I was
questioning some of the residents about travel options. One of the attending
physicians overheard. He asked me to speak with him before I left that day. It
turned out that he had an extra car sitting at home, and he didn't like it to
sit too long in his driveway (because the squirrels think it makes a nice
home). He asked if I would be interested in driving during my time in Fort
Wayne. Of course I was interested. I had known this man for less than three hours at this
point. There was no contract. No negotiation. He looked me in the eyes and told
me to use it for whatever I needed it for, for however long I needed it, and
then to bring it back. I shook his hand and knew in my heart, again, that the
Lord watched over me. He knows my needs, even the little ones, and he had
directly and distinctly answered my prayers (and those of my family).
If you are still with me,
congratulations! You have read more than
three pages and 1,300 words. I hope you found it worth your time. I did. I am
grateful for the innumerable blessings I have received. I am grateful for the
power of prayer, and the power of the priesthood. I know that this summer is
probably no more special than any other, but right now all I can think about is
the blessings that have fallen like rain in the past few months.
Well, all the blessings I have been
given, and the fact that I will be back with my beautiful wife and amazing
children in four days. I may even be able to carry one of them out of Sacrament
Meeting next week. Thursday can’t get here fast enough!
